


I'm Not My Idiot Brother

by jasmineisland



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-13 16:02:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasmineisland/pseuds/jasmineisland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for h/c  bingo  on lj. <br/>Dean has a good night on the pool table. His mark wants his money back. Sam is in the wrong place at the wrong time, but his brother is going to want a sacrifice for what they did to the Impala.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not My Idiot Brother

[h/c bingo card](http://jasmineisland.livejournal.com/3483.html#cutid1)

Prompt: Mistaken Identity  
  
Characters: Sam Dean OMCs

Warning: “F” word and some anatomical male reference slang

Word Count: 1205

Summary: Dean has a good night on the pool table. His mark wants his money back.

  


 

“Coffee, bitch.” Dean had opened his eyes to see Sam sitting at his laptop.

“yeah, Dean. That’s how you get me to go get coffee at 4 fucking am when it’s 20 degrees below blue balls out there.”

“Sorry. Coffee, PLEASE, bitch. And some food.”

Rolling his eyes, Sam stared at Dean. “Are you drunk or hungover?”

“Yep.”

“Great, double the attitude and twice the bitch and moan.”

“I brought home the bacon, you go get the…… bacon.” Laughing, Dean stretched.

“Funny.”

“I’m fuckin’ hilarious, Sammy. Now go! Money’s in my jacket.”

“Just for that, I’m taking your jacket. Warmer than mine.”

Sam drove around for a short time before he realized the only place open was a gas station/convenience store across from the bar Dean had just left a couple of hours before.Hunching over against the cold, Sam pulled the collar of the actually too small jacket up around his neck and ran inside. The bored kid behind the counter stared at Sam when he dropped all of his purchases on the counter. Two large coffees, a box of donuts, and a large bag of Peanut M&M’s.

“Breakfast of champions?”

“It is for a drunk and/or hungover brother.”

The clerk laughed. “If he’s anything like mine he’ll be a pain in the ass all day.”

Returning the kid’s smile, Sam waived the bag of M&M’s. “Kibbles and bits for the pit bull.” They shared a laugh until the kid looked outside.

“Oh, shit. I know those assholes.”

Sam turned to see four men circling the Impala. He knew it was a bad sign before one of them raised a baseball bat and swung at the rear window.

“FUCK!” Sam headed for the door.

“You want me to call the cops?” The clerk reached for the phone.

Squaring his shoulders, Sam shook his head. “I’ll take care of them.”

“If you kill them take them somewhere else, first!”

Exiting the store, Sam heard something behind him before the pool stick swung towards him. Standing about six inches shorter and not entirely sober, it didn’t take much for Sam to twist the stick out of the his hand and punch him. Before Sam could advance on the other three one of them backed away from him.

“Dude, you didn’t tell us he was a freakin’ mountain!”

“Oh, fuck. That’s not him!” The guy that had busted the window moved closer. “I swear, man. That’s the car, and I swear that’s the same jacket.” He looked at Sam. “Where the fuck is the other guy?”

“He’ll be kicking my ass unless I bring him a sacrifice for breaking that window, asshole.” The way Sam looked at him left no question to who that sacrifice was going to be.

“Little help here!” The remaining two grabbed Sam’s arms while the bat wielding drunk attempted to swing at him. Using the men on either side of him, Sam attempted to lift his legs to kick. But they were in no shape to hold up themselves, much less someone Sam’s size and all three fell backwards. The wind was almost knocked out of Sam, but he lifted is right arm to deliver an elbow to the face of the one on his right and then a solid punch to the one on his left. As the baseball bat descended towards him, Sam scrambled backwards and climbed to his feet. 

Realizing he was surrounded by unconscious friends, the bat hit the ground. “Man, I swear, I thought you were him. He took a chunk of money off us tonight and we just wanted it back.”

“Mistaken identity. That’s all?”

“Yeah, man. I swear.”

“And….you think everything’s okay because you brought four friends here to kick my ass, but oops, wrong guy, so it’s over?”

Before he could get a step away from Sam, the larger man had him by the jacket up against the car. “You were trying to jump my brother, and hit me, you asshole.” Sam shook the man and bounced him once off the car. “How fucking drunk are you, anyway? If that was all you did, I would just kick your ass like I did your friends and call it a night. But, NO, you had to touch my brother’s car. Fucking idiot!”

The last thing the smaller man saw was a large fist headed for his face.

****************************************************

The door to the hotel room slammed hard enough to shake the doorjam.

“What?” Sitting up, Dean held his knife as he reached for his gun. “Sam? What the fuck? Where’s the coffee?”

“Short guy, attitude, lost money tonight? Ring any bells?”

“Oh, yeah. Kept saying he was gonna kick my ass.” Dean snorted. “Him and what army?”

“An army of three more dicks that were as drunk as he was. Except they tried to kick MY ass.”

Now Dean laughed. “How the fuck did they mistake you for me? Hello? No girly hair, no sasquatch look, handsome, not….” He gestured towards his brother. “Not whatever you are…”

Not amused, Sam moved closer to Dean and glared down at his smiling brother. “The next time I get jumped because you did something stupid I will kick your ass myself.”

“You’ll try little brother.”

“Keep laughing Dean. Wasn’t just me that got jumped.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Smart enough to move away, the younger brother put his back to the door. Just in case. “he took it out on the Impala first. Busted out the back window.”

“Where the fuck were you when he was beating my car?!” Jumping to his feet, Dean only swayed a bit before he had his hands wrapped in Sam’s shirt and was about to start banging his brother against the door.

“It’s funny I got jumped, but the car takes a hit and you go berserk?”

“Damn straight, Sammy.”

“Wait! Wait! Dean, I brought you a present!” Using his arms, Sam tried to break the hold Dean had on him.

“You think a piece of pie will solve this one? I don’t give a shit about your present.”

“Fine! Give a shit, don’t give a shit, **_I_** don’t give a shit.” Using the door and his weight, Sam finally shoved Dean back a few steps, then tossed the keys at him. “But you might want to let him out of the trunk at some point.”

“The trunk?”

Ignoring his brother’s confused stare, Sam decided that going back to bed and starting the day over in a few hours was a great idea.

“You put the guy that broke the window in the trunk?”

“Yeah, Dean. He’s locked up and ready for the asskicking you were about to hand me.”

“Aww, Sammy, I didn’t get you anything.”

“Yeah yeah, just remember who loves you, jerk.” Sam stretched across the bed, face down.

“Guess you do love us, bitch.” Dean threw his jeans on and grabbed a shirt.

Not even having to ask, Sam knew the ‘us’ was Dean and his car. “Just don’t kill him. The clerk at the store hates him, but he saw me stuff him in the trunk.”

The door shut behind a grinning Dean and Sam didn’t even bother to get up and go watch.

  



End file.
